My therapist told me the other day that we can't force someone to learn, understand, and see things from our perspectives. Lets add to that list.. "We can't force someone to" empathize, be respectful, and reflect.. or how about rationalize, be kind, and be courteous. We can't "force". The only advice I was given was to come up with my own backup plan. What can "I" do about all this that's in my own means? Protect myself. I feel this advice could apply to you, too?

I feel you're stuck where you're at, particularly since you have children. It's not an easy decision to make, to be a single parent, let alone be one with three children. So I really do feel for you.

You're doing the best you can for yourself and your kids. The outlook does not seem very promising in this relationship. I'm not sure if working through your childhood would benefit the struggles you're having with your wife? It may give you clarity as to how you ended up with her in the first place. What does your therapist want you to do with this, in connection to your wife?