Oh! Also in response to Gabyunbound over asking whether or not my instances of violence were related to relationship issues, I'd have to give a yes and no answer for that. In detail I wasn't prominently violent in the past(I had maybe one or two fistfights; nothing too drastic), though in 2019 I was in a fairly bad place, and after recently coming out of the closet, I was faced with a lot of backlash, not only home-wise but school-wise as well. I never targeted my anger towards any of my friends(though I could get immensely irritable, and would abruptly stop talking to them over either feeling too tired to continue a conversation, or too agitated to the point I was afraid I was gonna snap and possibly jeopardize our friendship), but people that I hardly knew who would make homophobic/derogatory comments were who I targeted. I was a quick fuse, and in the time of winding up in a Grouphome, there was just a lot of triggers for me that would entirely set me off. At that time I was eccentric sure and though I made a lot of poor decisions(that I do deeply regret) I still remember just feeling so amped that I didn't care. I just assumed I could beat anyone up if I wanted to, that I was a big, "Intimidator" in school, that I had everything together and by taking control of my own life by moving out I could just focus on myself and strive to work towards a job and multitask with school. I sadly can't get into detail on what I felt on a day to day basis(I've only recently started documenting my moods for a couple of months)but that's the gist of what I felt during my immense aggression, and I have not felt that boiling rage in close to a year now. The last physical altercation I had was in May/June of 2019, and since then I haven't had any more instances of blackout rage, though I still can get pissed off to the point where I have to leave a room to collect myself. My family has a past of anger issues and I've always been encouraged to solve issues physically - which I of course have registered as a bad thing - so who even knows if that's a symptom of mental health or if it was just the way I was raised? I've thankfully gotten a better control of it and after experiencing the outcomes of fighting I have been more self restrained, but I'd be lying if I still didn't have the deep irritation that I once did, because I still do. At least now it's a lot more toned down.