Was asleep and fiancé just woke me up prematurely. Now I got a headache. I’ve been up since...I think 7 or 8am. It started with worrying about my cat and feeling lonely without her.

Last night was like I was psychotic. I heard such loud singing and music and i googles it and it said could be hearing loss. I been asking people to repeat themselves for like months now. Seems to be getting worse. It said hearing singing and music couls be hearing loss. Anyway, I need my ear wax cleaned out yearly. Haven’t done it. Plus I am so sleep deprived and also sick with episodes right now.

So many delusions trying to boil out of my head. I couldn’t stop looking over my shoulder last night cuz was afraid someone was coming up the stairs. Thought I heard em. Idk. Looking every 1 min. Literally. I had to stop cuz I was annoying myself. It was becoming too much, to keep looking I mean.

I heard a full rock band playing, oldies music after, and a man singing in a choir after that, before I fell sleep. Very loud and clear and distinct. I’m scared I’m losing my hearing. My ears itch all the time too inside. I think I just need my ears cleaned out idk. Cuz I wear a shower cap 90 percent of the time in the shower. So my ears don’t get cleaned by water or nothing. I cover them.

Anyway.