Hello! Thank you everyone for replying. I of course don’t expect someone on here to sit me down and tell me whether I have the disorder or not - Self diagnosing or being diagnosed by someone who isn’t a mental health professional isn’t reliable - but I’m just worried about whether what I’m experiencing may be signs of BD, or if I’m just overthinking things. I’ve been told it is possible to have BPD and Bipolar(My heart goes out to those people), though I just feel like my BPD diagnosis is wrong? My main concern is the treatment process difference between BPD and BD, and my fear stems from entering into a manic episode in the future because I was put through DBT instead of being medicated. Now I don’t know if I have BD, and though it would be great to get a second opinion, I don’t have the means to do it. Not anytime soon, anyway. I’m in a very small and unpopulated part of Canada where our health services aren’t the greatest, and it may take me upwards of a year to even get a second opinion, and I’m just too scared to wait that long, y’know? Of course I can’t sit here and say with 100% confidence that something bad will happen, but it’s the thought of it that’s terrifying for me. I have people in my family with the disorder(which I believe is on both sides, though it might just be my mother; she has a brother who is Bipolar) and it’s scary even thinking that I might have it, too.

Also at the moment I am taking 0 medications, though I have taken Escitalopram(Lexapro) in the past, all before I made the choice to stop taking them because I believed that I was just a hopeless cause/I didn’t need them anymore(stopped taking them twice for different reasons). Yes I know it was a poor choice to make and I should of consulted my doctor, but I can’t quite change that now.

I also deeply appreciate all of you replying to this forum; I just don’t know where to go or what to do? Online therapy may be a problem cash-wise(My family isn’t that financially stable, and as stated above I am out of a job) but if someone has access to a psychiatrist/mental health professional online or good therapy sites that I can get a second opinion from, I’d be really grateful to hear about it. I can also try and describe my moods/why I think I might have the disorder if someone wants more insight, and to better see for themselves if I should be worried about it, or if I should just not worry about it(Yet again not asking for a diagnosis; just an opinion on whether or not I may show symptoms of BD, and if I should be worried about it). Thank you!