Cashart, please, your brain is playing tricks on you--take it from someone who is an expert on the topic. I have done a huge number of dangerous, reckelss,extremely damaging things over the years when I was manic, just like you are now. I tried to merge several companies, one I helped to run. Disaster. I drove my car recklessly and struck another vehicle, injuring someone. That one got me 5 years in the state hospital. Destroyed my life and my career and everything. I had never even had a speeding ticket before. I don't want that to happen to you.

So, please, hand over that debit card, before you blow 2 grand on whatever. Stay in the house, if you won't go to the ER. You are safest in your own home with your husband keeping a close eye on you.

As for your kids, you see how long I was in the hospital. My precious daughter loves me more than ever... You are probably underestimating them.

Hugs, love, prayers for you!!!