I am also gathering my support system together, which is a most important step I need to take right now. I am reaching out to my closest girlfriends and am letting them into what's going on. I've reached out to my each family member and have told them what's going on. I've reached out to a few people at work to get their support through this.

This is much needed right now, as I can't go through this ordeal without a lot of support. The only way I will survive it is if I have a strong support system.

A month ago when I started thinking this way, all sorts of scary thoughts were floating around. I was scared to be single again at my age (nearly 50), I was worried about how we would split up all our belongings, and I was worried about all the logistics involved, including hiring a lawyer, what happens when I announce this to him and how we will live together under the same roof after I've told him.

I am working with my individual therapist each week. He is new to me, so unfortunately there's the "getting to know you" phase to get through. He wasn't of much help to me yesterday in our session, which was a HUGE bummer for me. He got stuck for a full half hour on our financial issues, so I finally changed the subject because I felt we were not getting anywhere.

And there ARE financial complications. The 8 months I need to save money is also needed for my husband to pay me back a sum of money he owes me. I do not want any financial ties with him after I decide to leave. I want the full amount to be paid to me before I move out. Quite unfortunately, I have co-signed a car lease for him which is. not over for two more years, so there WILL be financial ties to him, regardless.

But, things are in motion. I am taking steps. Another next step for me is to find a lawyer for a free consultation.

But I AM scared. We share a social circle and the same social life. We go out to all the same places, so I worry about the fallout of how all of that will work once all is said and done. I am trying not to worry about things that are miles ahead of me though.... one step at a time. If I worry too much about all the details, I will become chicken and will never go through with this.