I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal and physical abuse. It is usually NOT a good idea to go to couples counseling....the abuser needs to get counseling for their issues, before couples counseling is indicated. I wasn't aware of that, and we went as a couple...it was a disaster. One thing that is helpful is to stop responding to abuse....abusers are emotional vampires;; they want and need you to keep explaining yourself. ...it never ends. They are excruciatingly insecure. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life. Even tho you don't have the money yet, you can see an attorney....consultations are usually free; making that first small step give you information and helps you feel a little better. Love and hugs, you can pm me if you like.

Remember that abusers don't LOSE their tempers...they CHOOSE their behavior; usually abusers only do it to someone behind closed doors