Not a criticism. Not saying you were wrong. You and your son both fell you were in the right. My observation of family situations taught me that people could love each other yet hurt each other feelings because sometimes it’s inevitable and sometimes it just happens

You said something like “if we love someone we wouldn’t treat them certain way”. I don’t think that’s the case. I am sure I hurt my daughters feelings and she hurt mine. It’s inevitable. It doesn’t mean there is no love.
Ideally people always treat each other right and no one d ever gets hurt. In reality that’s not the case

You said if your son loved you he’d not do XYZ. I am sure he loves you. He just doesn’t think he needs to do XYZ. And he likely thinks that you had to do XYZ simply because of love. But you didn’t. Doesn’t mean you don’t love him. That’s just how it is in life.