HUGS @the walls You aren't responsible for anyone else's happiness other than your own. You aren't responsible for making your parents proud of you or happy or keeping them well. You are only responsible for you. Sometimes parents are really messed up. I'm sorry that yours weren't good parents for you. I'm sorry you are feeling sick. Forgiveness is a big thing. It can help you. But forgiveness doesn't mean you have to talk to them or be around them, it just means you forgive them in your heart so you can move on and have a happy life. I wish this for you. HUGS Kit