That sounds terrible bpcyclist.....you know my pdoc said something to me once about how you can be not good at things early in life but much better later on. You’ve got a lot more tools now so maybe you’ll have a better idea how to face this and it won’t ever get that bad. Plus I think attitude is half the battle, like the cognitive part of cbt.

If you don’t already have it I recommend installing the woebot, it’s an app that does cbt for depression. For me I actually learned cbt strategies better than with a T because the woebot doesn’t mind repeating stuff. Anyway, you’ve got this.