bluebicycle, we all want you to be safe. As for suicidal ideations, I see a difference between suicidal ideations that just plague us and ones that include plans (as another member mentioned here). Or if you have suicidal ideations and are struggling hard with impulsivity. I would hope your therapist and psychiatrist would understand that difference, as well. If you do have plans and severe impulsive tendencies, then IP may be the right thing. If not, then I don't see why IP is necessarily needed. It is crucial that you discuss that honestly with your tdoc and pdoc.