I just read this article on covert abuse tactics,
Learn to Recognize 26 Covert Abuse Tactics — Confusion to Clarity
And my husband uses most, if not all of these tactics.
I am decidedly out of this relationship and will file for divorce when I can. I need to make my plans and start taking steps. I am done. I will NOT live this way anymore, OR with this abusive person any longer than I have to.