Starting with most benign- aunt: She’s always lived far away and visited. She’s been there at all family events. My family is not warm and fuzzy. She’s a very successful, intelligent, persnickety person, but also sometimes fun. I never had an issue with her before.

A few years ago, my mom and I had a huge fight over me giving her money. It’s a long story. My aunt was there in the room along with my step dad for the blow up where my mom went off on me. It’s hard to describe the scene. I have not seen a movie with anything like it. My aunt had never seen that side of her sister before and she sat frozen with her back turned and said nothing. I left hysterically crying and drove home. My aunt never even called me to see if I made it home alive. I would expect my aunt to have at least shown that much concern, if not to go further and say, ‘I had no idea how your mother could be’. But I never brought it up again.

Then, she visited after that. She and my mom were discussing how another family member [had been raped/]. I told her that I had too and she said nothing and turned her back to me, changing the subject. Could she have not heard me sitting 6 feet away? I never said anything about that, either. I think she simply didn’t care so she changed the subject.