My depression was more intense today. I've lost seven of the last ten Scrabble games. I've lost my sense of humor about it. Thoughts of SH cross my mind. I'm just in such pain, why do i continue? Thoughts of the past attack me. It's probably all because i haven't been sleeping well.

I went out today for pleasure, with no purpose. It's the first time i've done that since March. I rode our train and stopped for a snack at a mall. It didn't help. My mask is uncomfortable. The weather is beautiful and warm. It seems wrong to feel down when the sun is shining but there it is.