The hard part is whenever I go in, my physical state declines. I got out of a boot two weeks ago, and I would have to walk barefoot, and I know that would cause more pain. I'd be bored and not know what to do, and that could break me down farther. I am scared about a lot, including the decision to go in. I don't know if more pain would help me right now, if the virus wasn't around then I may take myself in, but since it's in, I don't want to go back.

I'm doing a bit better. Getting out of the state in the USA helped. Even if it was just for the afternoon. Today I am focusing on writing and learning, and taking time to let my mind relax, and increase my self-care. I feel lonely and I am scared to go back to work tomorrow to work with one client. I"m already overwhelmed, and I don't need that but I need the money.

I agree I do need to settle down.