I liked comrademoomoo's sentence about things being lighter, and if I were you I would definitely give it a thought.
For me it would mean for example taking things as they are each day. Some sessions are lighter, some deeper, some with feeling more closeness, some more distant. And maybe there is something new to gain and learn from all the different kinds of sessions if trying to ease the pressure of them always feeling the same and trying to fill the same hole with them.
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