How old is your mother? If she's old enough, I would find an assisted living center arrangement and hire people to "help" her if she needs it, and take care of her business (bank or lawyer, etc.) trying to get more people involved so you could be less involved and less worried (if that's possible). There are agencies now that set things up and check on aged parents for people who live somewhere else or for whatever reason don't have the time/energy/whatever to be there as much as possible for their parents; look in your yellow pages and see if you can find such an social work agency. I think if you can get some independent people in there without your history they could both see through your mother and confirm your feelings and concerns and give you peace of mind and a break from her.