aliaslux.....

The decision to stay or go can only be made by yourself. All I know is that developing a relationship with someone that has children is extremely difficult. I know in my case I had a rebound marriage and we both had kids. The marriage failed and all kids involved got hurt beyond what any child should have to go through. Then, in a later relationship, my now ex girl friend never really integrated herself into my life with my kids, even after over 2 years. She was fearful of the kids getting hurt again. But, her lack of any involvement in my kid's lives was a major source of retriggering my depression as I realized that she did not want the relationship to move forward. And, I think my kids felt a bit rejected, or that she din't like them because she was never around. I invited her a lot of times and finally stopped because there was always one reason or another that she couldn't be there.

I share this with you to say that kids, especially kids that have already lived through one divorce, don't deserve to suffer the fallout of a failed relationship. You got engaged awefully quickly which is a bit of a red flag for me (I've been there so I know). Whatever you do I would SLOW things down. You can hold off on a final decision to marry (afterall that is a decision for life). Maybe you could reevaluate whether you want to live together. Maybe take a time out living together and see if the relationship still grows and flourishes.

How long has your fiance' been divorced? If it has not been that long then he needs more time. More time to sort things out as the time immediately following a divorce is VERY chaotic.

Lastly, I would shy away from making any comments about how your fiance' parents his son, unless of course he asks you first. This is a NO WIN situation for you. Maybe you would handle the situation differently, and clearly you see it more objectively... but the boy is his son. Interfering in your fiance's parenting style will only get you in trouble.

Please be careful because I think a 15 year old young man is at a tough age and he needs his Dad. And he surely doesn't need the chaos of a potential second broken marraige for his Dad. Better to slow it down and take a step back now rather than have it blow up later.