I've been feeling this way for a long time. Before this virus thing, I was so busy with work and kids, I had no time for anything. I was just doing what I had to do. Now, my kids father moved out after living together for almost 20 years (5 of those years we were split up) At least back then I wasn't happy about it, but I felt my purpose in life was to support my family. Now my kids dont want to be here (he bought and renovated a house and got them a puppy)
Not to mention, I am worried about my job because who knows if they are going to bring me back.

I was in the process of repairing my house when the virus hit. And all my plans are squashed.

I never thought I'd meet anyone, but sitting at home not talking or seeing anyone for 5 days got to me. I went online and eventually met someone. I had my guard up with him, but he was persistent and a couple of months later, it seemed things were pretty good. (He was talking about the future) Then he vanished into thin air. I try to think why was this person brought in my life to have it ripped away with no explanation. Not to mention it kills me to look at the things hes done around here..its a constant reminder. I have to think, I learned a lot from him. To live life to the fullest. Do what makes you happy. I really dont have anyone or anything that brings me joy. Just a lot of stress trying to repair and maintain my home, caring for his elderly dog that he left so he can get a puppy, and knowing my kids dont want to be here. If I vanished into thin air, no one would even care.

So that brings me to my question, what is my purpose? Why am I here? What direction do I take?