i rode it out ... thank you for your help... i woke up at 3 in a panic attack and they didn't stop until i got home from work... i guess i am glad it was a short day... and we were at the park so i could play with the kids... you know i am a fairly intelligent women... i work with at risk kids... i know the truth... i know why i do this... i know it's not ok... but when i get to that place... of working from panic... and fear .... it doesn't matter... lyn