I’m sad. Again. Like yesterday. It’s a gloomy rainy day and it’s supposed to make me happy but I just feel downtrodden. Idk why. I been up all night and wrote. I made myself write. And I applied for jobs because Texas is reinstating their work search rules to 3 a day starting the second week of July. I think my unemployment runs out this next Monday. May be my last check. So I’m applying to jobs.

I hate days like this. Where it’s gloomy and I’m sad, at the same time. I want my love to be next to me. But he has to work. Tomorrow is supposed to be a sunny day but tomorrow for him to be here is not the same as home needing him for today. I always seem to think like that. Even with other people like my dad.

Fiancé was in the shower and I was singing. Singing like I haven’t ever before in months. Maybe 2 years. I just felt that sadness and my broken vocals matched the tune of the song.

I can tell I’m sad by how I’m writing.