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Old Jun 23, 2020, 07:58 AM
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Sometimes psychotic Sometimes psychotic is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,427
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtus View Post
I’m sad. Again. Like yesterday. It’s a gloomy rainy day and it’s supposed to make me happy but I just feel downtrodden. Idk why. I been up all night and wrote. I made myself write. And I applied for jobs because Texas is reinstating their work search rules to 3 a day starting the second week of July. I think my unemployment runs out this next Monday. May be my last check. So I’m applying to jobs.

I hate days like this. Where it’s gloomy and I’m sad, at the same time. I want my love to be next to me. But he has to work. Tomorrow is supposed to be a sunny day but tomorrow for him to be here is not the same as home needing him for today. I always seem to think like that. Even with other people like my dad.

Fiancé was in the shower and I was singing. Singing like I haven’t ever before in months. Maybe 2 years. I just felt that sadness and my broken vocals matched the tune of the song.

I can tell I’m sad by how I’m writing.
He has to work though.....he can’t not work...he doesn’t value work above you, he’s just trying to survive and make sure you survive too. Without him working you couldn’t be independent, living in your cool apartment.

In addition, it’s not his job to address your mental health, you have a team of professionals that are better suited to that. It’s like when I get the flu or something, I don’t expect bf to cure my flu....maybe he’ll bring me groceries but that’s the extent of it.
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