Hey,

Thank you for sharing your story. I've been dealing with Bulimia for 5 years now. In these 5 years, I've had periods of "recovery" and relapse. Recovery meaning I was forced to stop by my family. Right now I'm in a relapse. Bulimia started for me when I was in my early 20's after 6 years of serious binge eating. I had eaten my way up to 300+ lbs. When I started purging (while I was in college) I lost 70lbs and people started to compliment me. I could not bear to tell them the truth of what I was actually doing to myself. I went back home for a break and continued to purge and lose more weight. That's when my mom found food in the sink in one of the bathrooms I used to purge. She confronted me about it and then locked the bathroom so I couldn't be sick anymore. I went back to college and purged more and lost more weight and then I started binging again without purging and gained some of the weight back. Fast forward to Halloween of last year, I relapsed after experiencing so much self-hatred after I was triggered into remembering the abuse I experienced as a child. Since then I lost a bunch of weight (not underweight though) and tried to recover and gained a lot of weight back and now I'm close to my second "lowest" weight because I've been purging and fasting. This whole cycle is exhausting but also so addicting. Binging and purging really does make me forget all the pain I'm experiencing. It numbs me. Weight loss is just a symptom and our body is so easy to focus on rather than the things that are hurting us.


I hope you're doing okay and staying as safe as you can. Much love [emoji3590]