I talked to my pdoc this morning. She's lowering the tegretol for a bit to see if that stops the itching and the rash. She's not too concerned about the rash. She said to take benadryl for the itching (which is all over, not just at the rash site). We will eventually go back up on the dose but a lot slower than what they did in the hospital.
I feel like screaming. I feel a little better after talking to my pdoc, which is weird because that never happens. Maybe because I feel like she listened for once. I have therapy later today. I'm not going to give it any effort. It's just not helpful no matter what I say or do. All my effort is going into group where they're actually able to help me and I can show up or not show up at any time.
Every time I do something I feel like I've recently died and the afterlife is just continuance of life. This is bothering me.