Quote:
|
I am trying to gather the strength to leave but I am still too scared - scared of being alone and scared of his reaction.
|
@
Anabana, this state of mind is exactly the state of mind ALL abuse victims experience. This is exactly where an abuser wants you to be, stuck in cognitive disonance so he can control you and own you. Abusers always find a way to BLAME their victim so the victim begins to get confused and begins to slowly think they are the ones that are slowly going crazy. They typically have a pattern of making their victim think they are loved, BUT, an abusers love is NOT a HEALTHY love.
YES, he probably WILL find ways to manipulate the therapist into thinking YOU are the one with the problem and he is JUST trying to help you. Abusers have LOTS of practice MANIPULATING and they can get pretty good at it. To an abuser the only TRUTH that matters is THEIR TRUTH, they will not let their victim have the REAL TRUTH.
Hint, if you talk about somehow getting ahead, their response will be how that will BENEFIT THEM. Your entire presence to them is about FILLING THEIR NEEDS. The more they can privately get you to doubt yourself the more CONTROL they get to have over you. If YOUR GAINS don't benefit them? They will discourage you because the truth is ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS THEIR CONTROL AND GAINS.
If you feel fear NOW, imagine how much worse it will get if you EVER commit to this man. Any victim of this kind of individual will tell you IT GETS WORSE once you agree to commit.
In general, disordered people tend to like to get other people to believe they are MORE than they actually are. They tend to exaggerate their true worth and they tend to create an imaginary persona because they NEED to believe they are more than they actually are. Their ego is fragile, and if they are threatened they will rage and they tend to lash out at anyone who they feel is some kind of threat. Their enemy is TRUTH and REALITY. They would rather live their exaggerated fantasy. They are not really "in touch" with reality.
This quote?
Quote:
|
I am trying to gather the strength to leave but I am still too scared - scared of being alone and scared of his reaction.
|
This is REALITY and it's something you really need to pay attention to, something this fiance isn't willing to allow you to see, it doesn't suit HIS agenda. His agenda is to make you service HIS needs, right down to what you wear.
Quote:
|
my fiancé who rages regularly, talks over me, tells me what to wear, is furious if my opinion is different, and then tells me I’m too sensitive and crazy.
|
. Yup, the only opinion that matters is HIS.