Ok.. compaining a lot and depression can affect someone else's sexual interest. Just flipping the coin for a second. You mentioned it's hard for you to talk about your depression and are unable to seek support for it. If you're wanting him to address an area of concern, it might be worthwhile for you to address an area of concern, too.

Have you looked into couples therapy? Maybe address the need to complain a lot and depression, along with what he's been putting out there.. ?