If I get triggered it is my responsibility to take a break or do whatever I need to do to de-escalate my emotional state. So no need to apologize. Please don't apologize. I probably meant I was observing that about myself because I was writing really long comments with TMI.


I AM sorry for saying you were telling everyone but him. I think I might have perceived it that way but it was not factually accurate, so thank you for setting me straight on that.

Mmm, on the weed, I was commenting because...not because I had the same concerns as Divine...but...I don't think I made myself at all clear on this issue. One thing is...my experience has been...that daily weed smoking makes one less emotionally available. Yes, the person may be calmer and more relaxed. But I am talking more about emotional intimacy. However, these are my thoughts and really have nothing to do with your situation. Again, I observe when I post a lot or post long comments it indicates I might be triggered...and thereby might not be the best support at that moment.


I am sorry if I in any way caused you more distress. Your situation is very difficult.

I think you are being thoughtful, emotionally present, and most of all you are clearly communicating.

I went overboard with my comments and I am really, really sorry.

Perhaps communicating is helping you...and I for one would like to restrain myself from commenting, you know, blah, blah, blah so boring how I go on...but rather would just like to offer you support. I want to acknowledge that you are in a difficult situation. And I think it is right that you are moving cautiously.

Also...about the restraint thing. You did mention he had a bad back so for now, at least, it seems you won't have to worry about that. Also...I am wondering...are we all jumping to conclusions here? Maybe it is just a bad habit. I think your plan of saying something in the moment if/when it happens again is a good plan.


We are in an era when so much is suspect, right?


I think perhaps the best thing is to look at it all holistically...that is...is this disrespect...or...perhaps bad habits? Or...is it about control? I don't think my ex rages at his new wife. I think he didn't like how I was confrontive and challenging. I think often men will pick more docile partners the second time around if they had a challenging partner.

I am not saying you are challenging him. But maybe he developed this style...as a defense. Maybe even early in life. I personally think man rages are an offensive defense. But what the heck do I know?

IDK. I am just babbling now. I find men very hard to read.