MsLady, you just restated what I suggested. Which is that, even if the abuser goes to therapy its only to manipulate their victim and not to actually take responsibility for their behavior. Sorry, I don't know why you are trying to reframe my words as something opposite of what you think. Abusers do not take responsibility for their actions in relationships. That's just not realistic to even think for a second that anyone who is abusing you, will agree to go to therapy so they can fix their abusive behavior. Not sure why you need to claim I said anything different because that doesn't make any sense.

The OP is scared to ask her abusive boyfriend to go to therapy because she knows that he won't go, and if he does go, it will be to manipulate her in front of the therapist. Since the OP has already moved out, she should just end this relationship. Why stay with someone who abuses you. It will never get better. Abusers never change.