My sister and I live 3000 miles away from each other. She lives in an area where I grew up in. I moved away from that area more than 30 years ago. I left there because I could not emotionally stand it living with my family, including her, and not liking the area. In fact, she was mostly the reason why I left.

For many years she keeps on saying that it would be nice for me to visit and eventually move there. I have told her many times that I never want to. She, still after many years, doesn't get it. And it irritates me when she keeps talking about it. And about visiting each other, she feels that I should visit her every year and that she doesn't want to visit me. I think it's not fair because I'm the one who will always have to pay for the transportation, which is costly.

She's married and has two kids by adoption. It seems like there's so much chaos and stuff going on that's too overwhelming for me. Her husband is very mouthy and opinionated and her kids (young adults still living at home) are out of control. And if I do go and visit, she (and maybe her husband) will try to twist my arm for me to move there.

I feel like if I moved there I will be sorry. She's very bossy and needy. She's 11 years older than me and likes to mother me. I don't like being mothered, especially by her. When I talk to her on the phone, it sounds like something's wrong, but she won't tell me when I ask. Also she's very rude; as she drifts off when I talk to her and has to suddenly hang up when her husband or kids need something.

She's asked me why I don't want to come to visit, but I don't have the heart to tell her why. It would hurt her feelings and she'd argue. I just tell her that I don't like the area, but that doesn't seem to convince her.