Lemon, your divorce sounds more similar to what is in that book. (I hope you faced it with a similar degree of humor as the author!) So maybe it is a difference of kids vs. no kids. I am learning a lot from our divorce, though, and maybe it is not such a bad thing it is taking so long. It allows me to process and learn and become a better parent. Sometimes though I wish it were all over because there is a lot of stress. There are areas of conflict. I avoided conflict throughout the marriage by always giving in to my H and letting him do what he wanted, but that entrenched behavior pattern of mine is not necessarily good for a divorce. My lawyer helps look out for me so I don't just give in on everything.

It is really not so bad to meet with my H once a week. Most times it is actually OK! Also, I think being able to talk to and be with your ex in a friendly and civil way is very healing for the children, so I am glad that is how it is for us (most of the time). It would be so much harder if we were spitting at each other, at least for me, conflict-avoider superbe.