Not to be contrary or to question your decisions, but is this really the best you can do?

I don't know your full situation, but I have read some of your posts and think you are a smart person with alot of insight who has a good heart.

Your decision sounds like a punishment for someone or something (your own body?) that has let you down. I don't see food deprivation as the answer here and I certainly would not categorize it as a part of any "recovery".

I watched my own daughter slowly starve herself and can say firsthand that it is a horrible thing to let get started. There has to be another, better way for you--please endevour to find it.

My daughter is actually making some progress now. She's up about 4 pounds and is acting like her old happy self. We'll see how long this lasts. In the meantime, maybe try some Ensure's? They have a lot of good things in them and are, from what I am hearing, easy on the stomach.

Try to approach this decision again but without any anger, blame or frustration. Use only common sense and logic and see where that takes you.