@bpcyclist, I am sorry some of what I wrote yesterday confused you. It seems that some of what Fern wrote expressed what I wanted to yesterday, but she did so better.

I am not saying that you are necessarily on too big of a cocktail, or that some people may not need bigger cocktails, but that maybe you might be. I wrote a long, surely slightly disjointed account of when I was on more medications than you. In my account I mentioned how trimming down a bit actually improved my situation. I mentioned that only now, on three fewer medications, do I even know what each does (or does not). Certainly being on fewer medications does not have to mean having a milder course of the disorder.

You wrote that depression is a concern and that your Lithium and/or Depakote may exacerbate it. Then why not talk about that with your doctor? Is it truly necessary to always fight negative medication effects with yet another medication? And with a stimulant, which is downright dangerous for many of us?

I believe most of us must take medications for the rest of our lives. From my long history, I am certain I could not aim to be off of them. However, I did find that I could find more stability on my current mix of four than on my old mix of seven. Some removal(s), some dose adjustments, or an addition/switch, and other therapeutic efforts helped make that possible. It did feel good to clear out some of the chemical excess, for me. It was good for my moods and relief from side effects.

I know you had some flat out horrible, or maybe even traumatic, years of your illness in the past. I did, too. It's understandable to never want to go back there. But please do be sure that the treatments for your disorder don't end up jailing you, in a sense.

I care about you, my online friend. I'm sorry if my delivery of that is sometimes flawed. No need to respond to this, if you'd like to move on from the topic.