Sorry this feeling is happening.

Are you sure you're not mixed (dysphoric)? Suicidal thoughts typically do not come with hypomania or mania, unless they're psychosis related (e.g., someone thinks they're Jesus and will get reincarnated).

I am leaning more towards mixed state here, but obviously I could be wrong. I know you say you're embarrassed and don't want to be locked up, but it sounds like she didn't pull the IP trigger. So whatever she was thinking, she didn't think you were a danger to yourself or others (unless you hid things from her). But if you are getting psychosis with suicidal thoughts (for example), that is something you should tell your therapist ASAP. I always tell mine when I am experiencing hallucinations because she wants to help and make sure things don't get worse.