I feel like I can't tell anyone IRL how I truely feel. I'm afraid that I'll have to go into a place that will make things worse. I'm afraid I'll lose my job, and I'm afraid that I'll be in more physical pain than I am already. Yet, I'm afraid of the consequences.

I'm watching Merlin, and trying to relax before work. I've got a difficult conversation/possible no-show coming up. I took an Ativan. I can't let my fear over take me. I hope to speak to my t soon. But I know it will be in riddles. I'm hoping for another option than things that have been tried before. What I really need is a place that can treat the sex addiction and the depression. But few exist for women in the states. And I'm afraid the insurance may not pay for it. And I may lose my job. How can I take care of myself if I can't get the treatment I need?