I have general orientation for work in half an hour and all I can think about is getting high/drunk. I will not show up drunk and/or high. I don't even have half the shite I was using around. Why do I have anything around is the question. It'll be interesting to see what new measures they're taking. I really need to pay attention to this orientation because I haven't worked there since before ECT two years ago and I'm sure things have changed and I've forgotten a lot of things. I am very anxious. Tonight I'm going to try to sleep without the ativan. I slept like 11 hours last night.