Hello gandn: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry I doubt I can be of help with this especially since you are in the U.K & I'm in the U.S. I don't know anything about your health care system. Here where I live, I would say there is no average length of time a person stays on a hospital psychiatric unit. It simply depends on a person's individual progress (as well as for how long the person's health insurance carrier will continue to pay.)

I've been (involuntarily) committed twice. I recall the psychiatrist who treated me the second time around saying that one thing they use as a sign of a patient's readiness to be discharged in when the patient begins to express a readiness to leave & a bit of uneasiness with still being on the psych ward. Apparently they take this as at least one good sign. In your wife's case, since she's sitting in her room not talking & sometimes refusing her med's, I'd say it's likely she's going to be there for some time unless there is something about the U.K.'s health care system that requires the hospital release her within some specific period of time.

I presume the best person to be talking to about all of this would be the doctor who is treating your wife in the hospital if you are able to do so. Secondarily, at least on the psych wards I've been on, there was also a social worker who's job it was to interface with family members (assuming the patient had given permission for hospital staff to communicate with family members.) I honestly doubt anyone may be able to give you anything in the way of a specific time frame within which your wife will likely be released (again, unless the U.K.'s healthcare system requires it.) Given the way you're feeling about the situation perhaps it might be worth seeing a counselor or therapist yourself for a period of time? Best wishes...