So once again I come to you all for support.

Heres whats going on. New job. Love it. New boss. Love him even more than any other boss I got. Techsupport. Long hours. But what I love to do. I have add and its my niche. I never am strapped to a desk and don’t need my Ritalin to make it through a day. Haven’t cut in over 140 some odd days. Husband got a new part time job to match another partime job which equals 1 full time job.

Good so far right? That’s what I thought.

Mom and Aunt has resolved to no longer speak. (this sucks) even though I know my mom was right. (the aunt is bipolar, undiagnosed, in TOTAL denial, and completely manic) she said very hurtful things to my mother. I told my aunt I wouldn’t be able to speak to her if she once again “talked about my mother that way” we are doing fine so far. (background, aunt was abused, and Imho sees my mom trying to help her as being controlling) mom is NOT controlling. Just a “fixer” and nurturer by nature. I tried to explain to aunt……no good.

Bad thing – I probably shouldn’t be talking to the aunt. And this is rather confusing for me. Because I love her. Those of you who know me, understand this part. Not worth getting into just yet. Im giving enough reading here I think.

Second bad thing. My dog is dying. They think he has cancer. Hes been in pain. And I know what is coming up. See this dog has seen me through a lot of tough times, the death of certain family members that were close to me, and being diabetic he has single handedly saved my life (he tugs my shirt when I go low) we didn’t teach him, he just does. Lately he starts flaking out when I have an asthma attack. Before I even see signs.

Best friend calls Saturday and tells me her WHOLE abuse story. I never knew. But it explains a lot and it kinda triggered me although I didn’t let on. This is a breakthrough for her. Trudged up a lot of %#@&#! for me. But I made it through the weekend – I think im getting stronger now.

So once again, I feel a spiral coming on – Im grateful for the good I have right now. But the urges to cut are back. And the panic and all the fun stuff that comes with it are back.

Just needed to vent. I owe you guys. But lately “life has been happening” so I haven’t frequented here often. I am up at 430 am and working till 430 pm, then if lucky home by 630 pm. And it just keep starting over and over.

Thanks for listening.