I don't really understand what is going on, you have to understand that I'm a multiple so everything is higgldy piggldy anyway.

You see, I somehow managed to get into the British Psychological Society, my organization, very proud of it to, and then get accepted into more sections and divisions of it, with no questions asked. (But damn, Iv'e worked hard too.)

But the thing is I'm just a teaching assistant, ok I specialize in learning disability and special needs and all that and the boss did call me a therapist the other day, right infront of people. I was so embarrassed I didn't acknowledge it.

And I've done some training off my own back, I was up till 2am last night doing a course on Leadership! WTF am I doing! Hopefully I'll get another doctoral level certificate for that and I'll be pleased? It's all very scary actually.

So, I turned up to work today having had only 4 hours sleep, I felt sick as a dog. All I could think about was the leadership training I've just finished and how scary that is. And what a baby am I? And I just really wanted to puke so I had to leave work early, let everyone down and not say what's really going on here.

I guess it's all stress, and I wonder whether I'm just going completely round the bend.

Someone here asked me the other day whether I was a practicing psychologist, do you know I'm not sure what the hell I am? I'm in the division of clinical psychology but I'm not a fully fledged chartered psychologist, I certainly don't get paid loads of money! But maybe I'm on the way to my dream? Why didn't anyone tell me? But I'm not a student either. So what am I doing. Winding myself up I think!

Need to go and puke now.