So he called me yesterday and we had a two hour conversation. He had no empathy for my fear and made no attempts to calm me.
Instead he turned very critical of areas that he feels I have not measured up as a girlfriend. He also told me that he has no feelings for me and never had. And that the best I could hope for was to deem me as someone important in his life. He ridiculously blamed his acceptance of a loveless marriage on culture. (As if I am ignorant of a culture that I have lived in for nearly 26 years). He has been lying to me about the state of our relationship for 6 months.
When I asked if he was breaking up with me, he said he wasn't sure and he wanted time to think about it. I asked how he would want a cooling down period to look like. He also didn't know and said he would let me know today.
But as soon as we hung up, I had clarity. I don't need any cooling down. My opinion hasn't changed. This relationship is over. I was in love with a man who doesn't exist. All there is, and perhaps ever was is this cold hearted bastard. I have no words for how much this hurts.
I am ready to end this. I plan to be kind and respectful. I plan to say it's about different expectations and incompatibility. And to let him know for the sake of my moving on, I am not okay about friendship (he said if we broke up he still wanted to help me on a project he had promised to help on, no).