First of all my care and thoughts are with you even though I don't know you and don't post much. I've been in a similar situation myself. One thing I realized early in my career in mental health is if I am going to get anywhere in life I do have to stop my self destructive behaviors and I know yes easy to say but sometimes we have to put our health first, over anything else. The mood swings CAN be controlled. What helped me was actually kicking my own *** figuratively and getting myself into a program for my particular self destructive behavior and then working at it full speed ahead. I was not motivated, believe me but it had to be done and I forced myself to do it. You can do it too. Your career is important and the rest of your life is important. If you need to go to the hospital, that's what you need to do. .Everything else just has to be secondary to that. They might also try some new meds or combinations at the hosp and that can also help. Also try some nutritional approaches, read up on that. Take care and good luck.