I had a fearful thought yesterday: what if he becomes violent when I do tell him I am leaving him? During early fights right after marriage, when he would yell at me and when I would tell him "I'm not putting up with this kind of treatment, and I want a divorce", he slammed a couple dresser drawers in anger. That coupled with holding me down in bed sometimes, does this mean he could potentially become violent when I face him with an actual divorce? I am a bit fearful and worried.

It's far away from now, but that thought scared the dickens out of me, and I thought perhaps I should have someone with me when I tell him. But that would be totally humiliating for him -- to have a trusted friend or family member of mine hear me tell him I am leaving him and this is why? I would be so humiliated if that were me.

Then again, IF he does show any violence and I don't have someone present with me, I could call the police on him, get a restraining order, and have that on my side when we do divorce.