So, ill go from the beginning and this is going to be long and i make no apologies.

4 weeks ago now, i used my wifes notebook to write something down, when i opened it i found a list of finances that she would be entitled to if she left, including CMS and also things she needed to buy for her new place.

Anxiety through the roof i hit the ceiling and i had an attack, i asked her what was going on,

We sat down and we talked and she told me that she wasnt happy, for the last 3 years (since our daughter was born) she felt as if i didnt help her, didnt show her affection, didnt help with the baby, didnt do anything except work and look at my phone.

I took a walk, i thought about what she had said and i typically begged her to stay, she closed herself off to me, over the coming days i couldnt sleep in the same bed, i had a mental breakdown through anxiety and had to get myself a room on camp,

She questioned this and i said it was best, she told me she just needed some space,

I thought she meant me moving out for a few days to let her think, she told me she meant just 20 mins here and there so she gets me time.

Fast forward a couple of days, and i asked her how she was feeling and she closed off instantly told me it was too soon, she didnt know, shed enjoyed me not being there for the last couple of days and now questioned whether she loved me.

I left that night, my mental health deteriorating i spoke to her sister for advice,

The day after fathers day she asked me if id spoken to her sister, she asked why and i said i was worried, i dont know where i stand or our relationship is, she accused me of stalking her instagram (i watch her insta stories and like her pics everyday.. always have) she told me she was scared that id come back in the middle of the night.. that cut deep.. wtf did she mean by that,

I left that night and she removed her married status on facebook, that tipped me over,

I went to see the Doc on monday, he referred me to a mental health specialist nurse.

I went home monday night i told her i was leaving for 5 days, she said "but were doing this so you can see the kids", i simply said "i know" and left.

I was with the mental health specialist nurse on tuesday with sucidal thoughts and and a whole raft of anxiety and depression traights. I managed to talk her out of the mental health ward because my wife didnt know i didnt want her to feel guilty because of it.

She has closed herself down so much but she hasnt said our marraige is over, she refused counselling, the padre and welfare, stating she doesnt want to talk to people she doesnt know, but wont open up to me

She is on ANTI D. She has a history of depression, i had a gambling addiction but ive been clean for 13 days now and im not going back.

I love her with all my heart but she is so cold towards me i dont know where i stand because she wont give me a straight answer to anything.

I dont want to walk away, i dont want her to go, i want to work through it as the problems are minor and i just need her to see that.

I can be affectionate, i can be loving, i can do everything that she needs but its difficult when the feeling of it not being wanted is always there.