Quote:
Originally Posted by Anandi
So he called me yesterday and we had a two hour conversation. He had no empathy for my fear and made no attempts to calm me.
Instead he turned very critical of areas that he feels I have not measured up as a girlfriend. He also told me that he has no feelings for me and never had. And that the best I could hope for was to deem me as someone important in his life. He ridiculously blamed his acceptance of a loveless marriage on culture. (As if I am ignorant of a culture that I have lived in for nearly 26 years). He has been lying to me about the state of our relationship for 6 months.
When I asked if he was breaking up with me, he said he wasn't sure and he wanted time to think about it. I asked how he would want a cooling down period to look like. He also didn't know and said he would let me know today.
But as soon as we hung up, I had clarity. I don't need any cooling down. My opinion hasn't changed. This relationship is over. I was in love with a man who doesn't exist. All there is, and perhaps ever was is this cold hearted bastard. I have no words for how much this hurts.
I am ready to end this. I plan to be kind and respectful. I plan to say it's about different expectations and incompatibility. And to let him know for the sake of my moving on, I am not okay about friendship (he said if we broke up he still wanted to help me on a project he had promised to help on, no).
|
Yes, it does hurt to realize you were in love with a person he is not. But better you found this out now rather than later when you're too deep into the relationship. Your breakup plan is a good one. Congrats to you for wanting to end it and on your own terms. You can do far better than this person, and you you deserve it. Know this within yourself, and carry that forward with you. Hugs to you. It will hurt for a while, but all pain is temporary and eventually will diminish. Be happy to be free of a man who scares you.