Hello Worriedtoomuch: Thank you for sharing your struggle. I see you are a 3+ year member, here on PC, although this is your first post. So... welcome to the forums!

I want to say I shuddered a bit when you mentioned the doubled-over belt. (By the way I should mention I was an only child.) I can still dimly recall getting that too. Before he spanked me with it my father liked to hold each end of his doubled-over belt in one of his hands, move them close together (which caused the two sections of belt to forum a gap), & then quickly pull his hands apart causing the belt to make a sharp snapping sound.

I'm an old man now. But I still have this image in my mind of one occasion. I don't know what I might have done. But my father apparently decided I needed a spanking. (I must have been around 6 or 7 years old.) Somehow I wedged myself between the headboard of my bed & the wall behind it. And I recall standing there crying, begging him not to hit me while he stood beside the bed smiling & telling me to come out & take it like a man. That's it. I don't remember anything more of the incident than that.

Anyway... your post motivated me to share that memory from my own childhood. I hope you find becoming active in the forums to be of benefit.