Thank you for your answers. Chalmette, sorry about your boyfriend, it is easy of me to say that you deserve better, but then again that's exactly the situation what I am afraid of.

Riptide, I guess you are right, that my loved ones should accept ALL of me. It is just scary to find out they don't.

I have bipolar 2, so the episodes are not THAT bad. I just happen to live in a country that has the most idiotic culture; people are supposed to live like dead, very subtle. calm, closed, reserved, no emotions should be expressed etc. Actually my country leads in the suicide statistics - and I am sure there is another reason for it than darkness. So everything is fine when I am depressed - I fit in perfectly, but put a hypomanic person in the middle is something not left unnoticed. In other words, my aggressive moods hurt people. In addition I need a person close to me to tell me when I have an episode as I do not know it during it (I guess that's the same for all bipolars), and I need different meds then.

So Riptide, I KNOW that you are right. But I wish I could do as Trippinmickey. It really hurts when people start treating you differently, like telling would change your personality. They start thinking you are lying during episodes. Maybe I just need to get the medication more right so I would not have any at all, if that's possible.