Dear Worriedtoomuch,
What a nightmarish childhood you have endured. It is utterly heartbreaking what you have been through. I wish I knew what to say to ease your pain. Hopefully these Forums will prove helpful to you. Sometimes it can help just to talk about the ordeals one has been through. I do hope you are able to find some peace in your life and joy of living. I wish you only the best here on the Forums and in your life!
Sincerely yours, Yao Wen