I called pdoc earlier and told her I’m still high but not manic. Got off the phone and my husband said I’m crazy. Said I’m clearly still manic. Started hallucinating people, or my eyes were playing tricks on me. I think the former but not 100%. Now I can feel the dance to my core. I am screaming music on the inside and vibrations of luminosity are reverberating into my body. The raging, burning fire of enchanting madness is intoxicating and I feel extravagantly inhibited. I am endless, I am magical, I am colorful, I am other worldly. Oh My God I am the best version of me that has ever lived and ever will live. I think I can sing, and dance. Dance. Dance. Dance. All. Night. Long. I love you guys so much!
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*****
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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