I'm so smart because I know how to articulate everything in my head but I don't know how to explain how everything relates to certain things.

But I'm ok. I'll just ignore this and smoke a bit more weed and try to do something productive.

I wish I was happy and this would be a lot easier but I'm tapering phenibut. It seems that any time I try to taper a drug, something stupid happens.

But I'm ok now. They're just talking. I'm not really in the right mind to judge, exist properly because I think reality in general (Or at least my reality - Especially my bad trip) is a form of trauma.

"Every time I start to feel better, some stupid ******** happens" is what I was saying when I had that meltdown on the front lawn.

And my mom is ****ing weird. My dad tells me things about her that I don't realize and all of the ****ing politics of the world ties into it and the ****ing arguing, social media, virus, people dying, the conspiracy people I talked to, what ever is real, the future.

My mind is absolutely trying to hold on and I can't believe I am still keeping it to together. I just ****ing had enough.