Thanks, bpcyclist. Yes, we have already consulted with a lawyer on this. If he is not capable enough to make such decisions, we will take appropriate steps. But if he is, he has full freedom to spend all of his money, and have his property and house sold and eat that away however he likes. If he did eat it all away, he could potentially spend some years at the assisted living, but then there would be nothing at all left. Nothing. If he were to live many more years, it could be problematic, if he remained "capable enough". Neither of my siblings or I have the ability to take over paying for him to stay in a nice hotel-like environment with a full meal plan, and activities. He's been fully retired since he was 54 years old, mostly thanks to my mother who died young not too long afterwards, and left him all of a big inheritance she received. He's now 78 and enjoying this situation, even despite the covid 19. He's hiding there. Hiding from having to take more responsibility for himself or his recovery. He has no desire to ever go to AA or process his situation intensely with a psychiatrist/therapist.

Wouldn't a lot of us like to live in a situation where someone else took responsibility for giving us meds, making our food (and giving us choices with a menu and being served exactly as if in a restaurant), cleaning our living areas, entertaining us, etc? And he likes the constant social life environment there. And he doesn't have to give my siblings or me any support. He never really did, ever. It's all been about him, him, him. Even during the very worst years of my illness. My husband would call him and tell him I was in the psych hospital again, and he'd just say "Oh, tell her to give me a call when she gets out." Over and over again. And never asking me how I was when I was out, or if I told him, he didn't want to hear anything negative. And when my mother died, he was the biggest victim. And when my sister's son died by suicide, my dad was still again the biggest victim. He never really gave my sister support after that, either. All he did was start acting insanely irresponsible (an understatement) causing my siblings and me to think him soon dead. Then when he finally almost died in the ICU because of all that, did he seek treatment of any sort? No! We fought to get him to a doctor. Fought to get him into an IOP. Fought to get him to go to AA. He just hid away in this quasi Club Med, farting around like a you know what.

We do believe our dad has cognitive issues. All the symptoms of dementia are there. If that is the case, it is sad. There were many good aspects to my father, as well as bad. Now we can't talk to him for more than 120 seconds before he can't concentrate, or doesn't want to hear, even when all we talk about is hummingbirds or roses. "I've got to go, now!" he says. Something (or someone else) is more important. It makes wanting to call or visit him unpleasant. We visit, and he gets up for no reason and walks away. One time during a 20 minute visit, he did that five times. It's like "Where is he going? Why does he not care that we're even here." We know he'd be more interested in anything or anyone else. It is very sad, indeed! My sister and brother and I are good people.