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what really has just made me feel like the biggest fool is how many years I cheated myself out of happiness.
I have no family left. Parents are deceased, and it was just him.. he knew my situation.. That's what makes this the ultimate stabbing in the back.. He does the damage.. And does nothing to aid in cleaning it up... Sits back and watches me just fall apart... It makes me so mad now thinking about it all. I wanted to leave long ago.. You should have seen the spectacle he out on about how much he loved me and it was a mig mistake and blah blah.... It was a a banquet of ********. Financially.. We own a house together... No children.. we've been together since 1999 married 2012. I never imagined i could go back to that place that i was before all of this... I had trauma as a lid. trusted no one was very angry... now looking back that girl had no feelings like the ones incapacitating me now.... I was much tougher before i let someone in...my regret. You only get so long here... don't spend it with someone that cant appreciate being with you. I could not mourn my mother because I was scrambled eggs with the BS he was putting me through after I confronted him.... I should have cut him at that moment....I will never cheat myself out of being content and happy for the sake of just to be with someone.... I would rather be alone... Dont cheat yourself out of waking up everyday and having a great day.
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